Monthly Archives: November 2015

Nitty Picker and the Sorcerer’s Stone-Ch. 10

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Naughty students get spankin’s!

 

We’re finally at the halfway point of the book, but only at the 1/4 point for the school year at Hogwarts. It’s October and that means Halloween being celebrated in the way only ghosts, grisly ghouls, wizards, witches, and things that go bump in the night can celebrate their time of year…by going to school and carving pumpkins.

The scariest part of All Hallow’s Eve at Hogwarts?? No trick or treating. No haunted houses. Muahahahahahahahaahaha!!!! >:)

 

Harry was drafted to the Gryffindor Quidditch team just to show that breaking the rules is strictly accepted at Hogwarts. To further hammer in this message, Harry is given the state-of-the-art Nimbus 2000 when he’s not supposed to have a broom either.

 

For his first training, Captain Wood throws golf balls in every direction he can so Harry can catch them. There’s several problems with this.

Problem 1: Where did they get the golf balls? Nothing against golf, but is it really that popular among magic folk? They don’t know what anything Muggle is, but they know golf! It’s more popular than Quidditch!

Problem 2: Why is Wood throwing the golf balls? The golf balls don’t move on their own. A Snitch does. Wood is literally training Harry to just expect the Golden Snitch to move in one direction, controlled only by gravity and air resistance. At least use a Frisbee or boomerang! Those can change directions after you throw them and you can catch them in your mouth (purely for fun, of course. We wouldn’t want Harry to attempt to catch the Snitch with his mouth in a real tournament.)

 

On the upside, Professor Flitwick thinks the class is ready to make objects fly, which makes me wonder what fundamentals were required before this moment? Maybe they had to practice their swishes and flicks separately, then put the two movements together, and now they’re adding words to it. It’s only been a month, they are making good progress on the learning.

 

Two things to get something to fly: swish and flick, and say the words properly. Magic cannot be performed if you do not do this. Pay no attention to the magic performed without words or wand-waving. This is why I prefer science. You can mispronounce ethylenediamenetetraacetic acid and it will still do what it does. Don’t make your “gar” and your “o-sa” long enough and you don’t get anything.

 

Hermione and Ron chemistry!!! “It’s no wonder no one can stand her…she’s a nightmare, honestly.” says Ron. Then Hermione overhears and cries and runs to the bathroom.

 

Then the troll shows up and tries to make Halloween exciting. Nobody takes kindly to that so they all scamper off to their rooms to hide under their beds. Harry and Ron know a good Halloween prank and attempt to egg the girls’ bathroom, but Hermione wants some alone time and the troll tries to comfort her.

 

Harry, overwhelmed by the lack of trick or treating, also needs a shoulder to cry on and jumps on the troll. Ron thinks Harry is cheating on him (because fanfic.net tells me these two are quite the couple) and tries to kill Harry with the troll’s club, but settles for dropping the club on the troll’s head.

 

Also, let’s do some math. The mountain troll is said to be 12-feet tall. I’m guessing Harry the 11-year-old is about 5 1/2 feet tall. Harry gets his arms around the trolls neck via a running leap which gives him at least a 6 foot vertical. White boy got mad hops!

 

Hermione lies and says that she went looking for the troll to fight it herself and Ron and Harry came to rescue her. This is the turning point of their enemy-ship into a friendship, but Hermione didn’t have to lie. What was so bad about the truth? Sure, it might be embarrassing to say that Ron  hurt her feelings and she cried in the bathroom, but the truth is simply so much better than the lie she spins! “Professor, the reason why we’re here is because I wasn’t hungry and didn’t go to the Halloween dinner. I missed the troll announcement while I was in the bathroom and Harry and Ron came to find me and take me back to the Common Room with them. The troll got here first and Harry and Ron rescued me.” “Thanks for your honesty, Miss Granger, 50 points for Gryffindor each!!!”

 

But no, she lied, and lost some points, which completely contradicts everything Hogwarts rules have stood for until now. For once there was a punishment for rule breaking?! I was certain Hermione would be promoted to Prefect for attempting to kill a troll on her own! I guess Harry has all the luck.

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